A real break in my routine his morning. The weather was gray and overcast, the feel of rain in the air but in complete contrast to the change, meeting Jeff, my young friend (and father to a second daughter recently) at the local coffee house which was, as always, warm and welcoming even at 6:45 AM. Kim, the owner, fixed me an Americana coffee. I brought a dozen of my New Era muffins for her customers to sample along with copies of the recipe. There were only three left by the time I headed out the door. I then delivered muffins to former neighbors on Fourth Street, hanging a plastic bag of them on the their side door before driving to the barbershop for a quick haircut and close beard trim, my visits more frequent these days. It makes me “look younger”, my housemate insists and, of course, I’m all for that.. I then went on to deliver my final plastic bag of muffins to older friends I visit every couple of weeks, impressed with how they are gathering help around them as it gets more difficult for them to survive in their home, caregivers in their house two days a week now, a daughter preparing meals, a granddaughter showing up, bringing the vitality of youth with her. You could see its healing effect of her presence in his eyes.
Yesterday noon I met with the “Thursday Boys”, all retirees, but we changed the venue. Instead of meeting at our usual haunt, the Waterfront Cafe, we met at a Mexican Restaurant around the corner on Morris St which had much less Tulip Festival traffic. Most of us welcomed the change, the usual bowl of New England Clam Chowder or grilled cheese sandwich and kohl slaw replaced by enchiladas and beans. The inevitable comparison to the other Mexican restaurant in town left the restaurant we were currently in a little lacking, the dishes okay but nothing special. On the other hand, everyone liked the round table and the space. The Thursday Guys by intention never have an agenda. We had quickly abandoned any effort to talk about President Trump’s actions following his election – most of them too incoherent to comment on – and have moved on to other topics. Yesterday it had to do with the question of the relation of Math and Art, the subject prompted by one of the guy’s whose painting will be shown at an exhibit by that name in Everett over this weekend.The artist in this case had taught mathematics in high school so the weekend exhibit was a perfect match of his interest and ability. It got us all to think again about math, not only as a system of equations and principals but as a universal language which gives us a way of looking at things with more clarity and understanding. The challenges of teaching math – and learning it – still prevail. Long ago I recall coming home from elementary school one afternoon, frustrated by my inability to grasp the concept of division, crying my heart out over the matter. An artist I met at the Coffee House this morning said she could not comprehend trigonometry or calculus but she had no trouble seeing and understanding angles and arcs. A good discussion. Less stories this time but giving us all more to think about. We, the Thursday Guys, decided to return here next week. The week after, May 10, I’ll provide lunch at my home in Shelter Bay since most of them haven’t seen it yet. And, then, presumably, back to the Waterfront Cafe.
In looking at my life at this point, I think I’m getting to the right balance between social connections and time alone, With my housemate, Kornelia in Hawaii for the month, most of my time alone is spent with my imaginary Muse, working at writing, needing the quiet time. I still allow myself time to think about having a partner for the intimacy it offers, but I’m about convinced there are a precious few women out there who would want to take on a 91 year old man however healthy he may appear to be. Do I know that for a fact? No. So I must remain open, I suppose. I did have the sweet experience today of talking on the phone with my 95 year old friend who said (with emotion and depth behind it) that she truly missed me and loved me. Had she not moved to California, who knows, at this moment we might well have been the committed lovers we almost were a few years ago.
